Six Million Peso Man

Kindle, eat your heart out

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:51:27 GMT

I would be completely willing to give up newsprint if it meant I could use this.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:12:13 GMT

OMG.

Khan Noonien Singh.

Saving China

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:34:18 GMT

Boy, oh boy. It's hard to believe Spot has gone from this:

To this:

In just one year.

I have the best cat.

Oh-bye-oh

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:11:43 GMT

I never thought I'd ever hear this sentence coming out of my mouth, but "I'm moving to Ohio."

Even looking at that on the screen is a little odd for me. Boy, life sure does throw you a few curve balls. Out of all the states I could possibly live, that area north of Kentucky has always seemed incredibly unappealing to me.

My mother is moving there in January, and due to some family issues, I'm going too. I start moving my belongings next month.

Perhaps it won't be all that bad. I'm considering taking the GRE and going to grad school at Ohio State University. They have a good public policy school. Now that I've gotten the nonsense with my student loans taken care of, I can go back to school if I want. God knows I don't want to stay in Montgomery substitute teaching for the rest of my life.

Maybe I'll even meet someone nice.

I still want to join the Navy, too. I just need to find a recruiter who stays out of trouble and actually does his job to get the process finished. If that doesn't work out, then maybe it wasn't meant to be after all. At least I've lost 40 lbs. in the attempt.

Hopefully this will be a good thing. I've been desperate to get out of Alabama since I left college (and most of my life, actually). Maybe this is my legitimate chance. I'll have a support system, which I haven't really had in any of my multitudinous moves.

But Ohio? I'm still asking myself, "What in the hell?"

Kensei

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:31:55 GMT

The best reference in the history of Heroes happened last week (but I didn't watch it until tonight).

Present Hiro told season 1 Hiro to go back in time to save Charlie.

Present Hiro said, "She's the MJ to our Spidey."

Past Hiro said, "She's the Marle to our Crono."

I freaking love Chrono Trigger. Heroes kicks ass again.

Further Proof

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:42:01 GMT

I decided to go to Books-A-Million tonight. It's been a while since I've read anything new, so I picked up a few items. In my browsing, I grabbed a copy of The Bostonians by Henry James, The World According to Garp by John Irving and The Audacity of Hope by President Obama.

While I was browsing through the fiction section, I ran across a mother and daughter looking for books, themselves. The mother was gingerly thumbing through an Ann Rice novel. The daughter was buzzing around the aisles, obviously looking for something in particular.

As I'm grabbing The Bostonians, I hear the little girl walk up to her mother and say, "Mom, is Dracula a real book?"

I was dumbfounded. What in the hell?

Her mother said yes, but I half expected her to respond, "No dear. It's just a myth perpetuated by people jealous of Stephanie Meyer's greatness. There's no such thing as an evil vampire."

This is what Twilight has reduced literature to. It's fast food for a fast food nation. You can feign how you "get" Bella all you want, but it's nothing more than four (or is it five?) books of pure verbal masturbation.

Writer's Block: Seeing stars

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:56:50 GMT

Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?

Submitted By blue_mariposa88

View 2283 Answers

Rory Gilmore

Because she's the exact kind of woman I want-- intelligence and the heart and tenacity of Hillary Clinton in a tight, compact, incredibly beautiful package.

Day of Indigenous Resistance

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:03:25 GMT

I encourage everyone to not observe Columbus Day. Protest the villainous and destructive subjugation and victimization of the native peoples of the American continent by Old-World Colonial Powers. The Spanish wiped entire civilizations off the map in Central and South America. The French-Indian War. The Trail of Tears. Little Big Horn.

Today the rightful heirs to this land are shoved onto reservations that are encroached upon little by little over the course of development of this nation.

Anti-Columbus Day march planned in Denver

Transform Columbus Day

Cryptkeeper

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:26:56 GMT

I almost peed myself when I saw this last night.

"You can't put your faith in these snowmen. With names like Fyrn and Blyrn and everybody look like John Denver and smell like whales."

"How you gonna call him Rush? That's a terrible name for a slow, fat man. The only place he's rushing to is Quizno's."

"When I'm playing Monopoly and I win the beauty contest, people don't yell, 'Hey, you can't win a beauty contest, Cryptkeeper! You ugly'."

The one with Kenan as Maya Angelou was pretty funny too, but not as funny as this. If I'd been eating while watching this, I would have choked and died.

In other news, I have an interview in Huntsville this week. If I get it, stage one of my global domination will be complete.

'Cause I'm an adult!

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:36:23 GMT

Man, The Lonely Island gets funnier and funnier with every video. Saturday Night Live has truly hit another renaissance. The first one since the early 90s. Even if they did have that psychopath Megan Fox on the other night. I can't stand her.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:16:05 GMT

America is not a country.

It is a continent.

The United States is a country.

The two are not interchangeable.

Writer's Block: On the (Job) Hunt

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:25:13 GMT

What's the hardest part about looking for a new job?

Sponsored by Monster

View 523 Answers

As Tom Petty put it, the waiting.

Away Game

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:56:31 GMT

The other night I had a dream that I was back in Oxford, Mississippi. I haven't been since I lived there back in the early 90s when my dad was a professor at Ole Miss.

That dream made me realize how much I missed living there. So much so that I'm considering buying two tickets to the Alabama/Ole Miss game. BJ's only been to Starkville, and we weren't even in Mississippi more than an hour. This would be a good trip for him.

There's an interstate that cuts through Oxford now, but when I lived there, a state highway got you in and out of town. Of course, I'd take the old way, just for nostalgia sake. Even if New Albany is half an hour out of the way.

Total win

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:18:59 GMT

Maybe I should do this... :p

Student sues school for her unemployment

Stall

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 04:25:51 GMT

Well, I can run a mile in seven and a half minutes, but I've got another issue.

I've been at 220 lbs for a month now. I can't get it to budge. The fat in my face is gone and I'm slimming down. While I know there is the fact I'm building new muscle, I found out today that your body decides where the weight loss occurs.

That's annoying. I don't need it to leave my face. I need it to leave the rest of me.

I have to get down to 196.

Danger Zone

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:10:09 GMT

I watched Top Gun the other day for the first time in a while. I noticed something near the end of the movie. At the part when Goose died.

Iceman was going for the shot on Viper, but couldn't get the target lock. See, Iceman knew he was in first place to get the Top Gun award, but at a moment of weakness or something or whatever, he got cocky. Maverick had the shot if Iceman would just get out of the way.

When Iceman finally did pull out to give Maverick the shot, the plane got caught in the jetwash, causing the engine to stall.

The way I see it is if Iceman had just gotten out of the way from the start, Goose wouldn't have died. I mean, Iceman was the voice of reason throughout the movie. Maverick was never supposed to come in first. The movie was about him growing into the Naval aviator he was destined to be. Why Iceman goes out of character in such a blatant way doesn't make sense.

Yet Iceman still came in first, winning the Top Gun award.

Stalk much?

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:32:35 GMT

I'm being stalked by someone I had no business associating with while I was in high school.

She wasn't my girlfriend, but she seems to be under the impression she was.

This is what's so messed up about Facebook. It's a great networking tool, but sometimes too good.

All you gotta do is dance

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:59:18 GMT

So I'm still running five days a week. The whole eight minute thing has been totally blown away since the last time I talked about it.

I'm consistently doing a mile and a half in about 15 minutes, give or take, depending on the day. That's about two minutes slower than I need it to be, but at least I can make it the full distance now. When I started, I could hardly go a third of a mile without slowing to a crawl, inhaling the air around me, desperate to keep going. Now my legs give out before my lungs do.

Now that I'm getting down the run time, I've been focusing more on the push ups and sit ups. Those still aren't great, but give me a month or so, and I'll be able to do what I need.

I started out this wild ride weighing in at 245 lbs. I'd gotten pretty lard-o. Since consistently starting to run two months ago, I'm now down to 217 lbs, or so I was on Saturday. I admit, I did eat a large plate of bar-be-que last night (and it was totally worth it), I'm probably at least 215 now. I have to weigh 196.

The goal I set for myself was to go through MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) in September and ship out of here by late October or early November. If I have to, I'll stick around until December. Looks like that's right on track.

Long Way Back Home

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:43:02 GMT

I just read an article written by Steven Page, former lead singer of Barenaked Ladies, about his introduction to Michael Jackson's music.

I'm blown away. I already knew he was an amazing writer, because his lyrics are so visceral and thought-provoking, but I had no clue it wandered into prose.

What More Could He Give by Steven Page

Getting it Right

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:59:05 GMT

Former-President Bill Clinton is going to have a piece printed in the next issue of Time Magazine about the cultural impact of Franklin Roosevelt.

In the last year, especially, many people on both sides of the aisle discontent with President Obama are seeing fit to rewrite the history of the Roosevelt Administration-- accusing his spending of lengthening the Great Depression. Will we ever know how the Depression would have played out had World War II not started?

No. Never.

But the fact of the matter is, the US was brought to its needs by conservative greed and it took a democrat to fix the mess.

I'm sick of it. I truly am. The US would not be here today if it weren't for the New Deal.

Getting It Right by Former-President Bill Clinton

Sea, Air and Land

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:34:30 GMT

So I'm watching this documentary on Navy SEAL training.

One guy going through the program just made a comment about the training.

"It's cold as hell. I'd rather be out here in the cold than on a ship. I hate those damned boats."

What the hell, man? The guy's in the Navy. I'd say he's made a bad career choice.

Sham-wow

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:33:29 GMT

I always wash my hands after I use the bathroom. Every time.

Sometimes, like tonight, when I've put the towels in the washing machine and there's nothing to dry my hands on, I wipe them on Spot.

I reach down and say, "Hey kitty!" and start rubbing the water on his coat.

Then he looks up at me with this angry look, like he's thinking, "You sorry mother f-cker. Don't forget I'm still awake when you go to sleep."

It's hilarious.

Mission accomplished!!!

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:14:39 GMT

You know that nine minute goal?

Yeah. I did it today in 8:53.

History

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:53:49 GMT

It's amazing how one tiny thing can bring up so many things you'd pretty much put behind you.

Fuck.

Swifter, faster, stronger

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:19:51 GMT

I made it around in 9:46 today. That's 13 seconds faster than yesterday.

I want to get it down to at least nine minutes by the end of the month. I need to make it around in at least seven minutes in order to get that mile and a half in 12 flat.